Recipe for a John Koning Author Visit
 

Begin with a venue.
Add as many eager kids and adults as you can jam into it.
Stir until evenly mixed.
Add one boisterous author with big ideas and a big sound.
Shake vigorously.
Gently sprinkle with a generous measure of scruples.
Add one heaping portion of responsibility.
Pour in laughter and fun until the mixture spills out into the hall.
Add a dash of "The Bully", a sprinkle of "Rule Number One", a pinch of "Honestly Eric" and a drizzle of "I Can't".
Garnish with printing plates, colour proofs, photographic film and other "hands on" publishing products.
Coat well for maximum absorption.
Serve with a side dish of Sgt. Major O. Currence

Makes hefty portions.
Serves as many guests as can attend.
Keeps well at any temperature.
May be consumed regularly.
Requires no beating, whipping or kneading.

Caution: Side effects include warm feelings and moist eyes. Those with allergies to laughter should beware. Contains accountability. Can be contagious.

Nutritional Information Per Portion (60minutes)

Energy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 14 gj*
Protean** - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 81 kg
Fat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Am not!
Carbohydrates - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Can be sweet

Percentage of Recommended Daily Intake

Friendship- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 100%
Integrity - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 100%
Self-worth - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -100%
Happiness - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 100%

* gazillojoules (a gazillion joules - that's lots and lots of energy)
** protean adj. 1. Readily taking on varied shapes, forms, or meanings. 2. Exhibiting considerable variety or diversity. [<proteus]